Mystic Mona

technology isn’t easy to cope with sometimes even if you can see into the future.

Mystic Mona

On the glory-faded front of a southern coastal town
there’s a peeling wooden booth, about to be torn down
Home to Mystic Mona, a Romany CERTIFIED
But she vanished several weeks ago and most assumed she’d died
Truth is Mona’s nephew is a clever little chap
And being up to date and that, he said “you need an app.
No need to freeze in booths, inspecting peoples hands”
So Mona’s going digital on a budget data plans

Mystic Mona’s going mobile, she does it with an app
she’s certified with Apple not to dish out mystic crap
she’s trying to make her fortune by seeing into yours
so cross her palm with Paypal and she’ll show you what’s in store

She reads imprinted palms when she gets downloaded data
if you get a 404 she’ll communicate it later
She’ll even read your tealeaves with her in-app purchase plug
For 60p and mystic ease click buy to “scan my mug”
But Mona’s not au fait with Apps, she’s best with crystal ball.
She tries to read her Samsung but it emanates sod all.
She bathed it once in moonlight to renew its inner glow,
Now it’s giving cock-eyed fortunes, and it’s battery life is low

Mystic Mona’s going mobile, she does it with an app
she’s certified with Apple not to dish out mystic crap
she’s trying to make her fortune by seeing into yours
so cross her palm with Paypal and she’ll show you what’s in store

Nephew was this really wise I feel my talent’s lost?
I don’t want fibre optic if the wifi lines are crossed
This stuff that’s in the clouds, well the spirits don’t believe it
I’m getting poor reviews and the punters, love, can read it.
“This app is telling porkies” says Bognor Regis Vic
“but I cottoned on to that malarky pretty goddamn quick.
Yesterday it told me that the dog would win a prize.
he’s never done the lottery so I know it’s only lies”

Mystic Mona’s going mobile, she does it with an app
she’s certified with Apple not to dish out mystic crap
she’s trying to make her fortune by seeing into yours
so cross her palm with Paypal and she’ll show you what’s in store

Google speaks of omens and portents quite primeval
She’s channeling her BT hub but download speeds are feeble
“Sorry, I could not foresee there’d be all this annoyance
Windows 8 it’s just not great for digital Clairvoyance”

Mystic Mona’s going mobile, she does it with an app
She’s trying really hard but foretelling mystic crap
Mystic Mona’s going mobile, she does it with an app
She’s trying really hard but foretelling mystic crap.
She’s quitting Apple’s store to take a daring punt
Cross her palm with silver, there’s NO PayPal on the front